Why we are always learning on this path of acceptance

This is me out of gym wear and in a dress. I really wanted to wear a dress on Saturday. I wanted to feel girlie.

What you don’t see is the behind the scenes of me actually putting this dress on then going out in public.

So let me tell you a story that I am pretty sure most of you will relate to.

I hopped out of the shower and put said dress on, with my “hold everything in” undies underneath.

I looked in the mirror and thought “ahh yeah, all good”. “Tummy hasn’t miraculously become flat overnight but meh, Im good”.

2min later; “I cannot wear that out in public! Look at my tummy!! Why is my tummy so round. No-one needs to see that!”

“But I really wanna wear a dress today!”

“Maybe I can try a couple of my other ones on?”
So i proceed to try on another 5 dresses…. All of them not suitable for my huge tummy. (Which somehow has grown more, in my head at least)

I feel defeated, tired and overwhelmed.

I then go and put on my black jeans and a tshirt because thats what I always wear. Thats my comfort zone.

I was about to go out and run errands when I stopped myself and thought “What the hell just went on?”

“How can I possibly teach body acceptance if I can’t even practice it myself.”
“You are a massive phoney Rachelle”

With that I went into my bedroom and put the dress back on. I decided with sheer determination that I will run my errands in this dress in public for all to see because what other people think of me is none of my business and what I wear is only my business.

I deliberately pushed myself out of my comfort zone and parked the car further away from the shop front and went about my errands.

You know what happened?
Nothing. No-one looked at me, no-one died and all was a normal Saturday morning in my town.

I then arrived at my sisters house and the first thing she said to me was “Oh, I really like that dress, is that the one I was going to steal out of your wardrobe?”

My sister did not see my tummy, nor did she care, she thought the dress looked great!

Yes, I preach about accepting your body everyday.

Yes, I want you to reach a place of calm and tranquility.

No, its not f*cking easy and I still struggle as you can see.

My hope is that we can break the stigma little by little by opening up and sharing our deepest thoughts so you know you are not alone.

I hear you.

I see you.

Let’s do this together. 💙

2018-08-17T13:07:35+00:00
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